The past few days the blog has been filled with all things Lyla. I had to catch up on all the things to document about her. But in all reality, the focus does seem to be on Lyla these days especially here at home. Even though she is a really good baby, she still demands a lot of time and attention. I've kind of felt a little guilt because I almost feel a little disconnected from Landen and Joselyn and it breaks my heart. I want to give them more attention but it seems when I go to play with them one on one Lyla starts crying again. And then there is the constant getting mad at them for getting into this and that... I'm so afraid they are going to start feeling some resentment. Maybe they already do! Not to mention they seem so much bigger now and grown up and less like my babies. My biggest wish really is for them to just be happy. All the time. (don't they know this is very possible if they just wouldn't do things that gets mommy upset?) I try to involve them as much as possible in the care of the baby. They both LOVE to play with her and help with diaper changes.
But when it comes time for me to feed the baby or try to get her to sleep, they usually go into michief mode. Some things they do make me REALLY mad, and other things just make me mad and laugh a little. They love to tear down all the things I just spent a lot of time cleaning. Their clothes get pulled from drawers and hangers and end up on the floor and their toys get dumped from baskets onto the floor. Beds get unmade. I've given up on arranging clothes by color and I'm heavily considering the advice of a friend to just put their clothes in baskets and not worry about folding or putting them away. That would take a lot for me- I love putting their clothes away neatly. But I'm really learning that with 3 kids you really do just have to let some things go. So beds stay unmade and toys stay on the floor. Lots of toilet paper ends up in the toilet. Hand towels get soaked in water. Floors become sticky and full of crumbs.
I've also had to learn to listen for silence. Silence is never a good thing in the Noe household. It means somebody (or somebodies) are up to no good. With mommy so concentrated on taking care of the baby, I guess Landen and Joselyn think they can do whatever they want! Get into whatever they want! They have just now learned the art of pulling the ktichen chairs up to the counters and getting into food. I was hoping that would never happen! Usually it's fruit or bread so that's ok- but they usually do leave a mess. Sometimes it's cereal and it gets spilled all over the floor.
We have to be careful about locking our bedroom door too, because they will find all sorts of things to get into. One day Joselyn found some glitter nail polish and decided it would be a good idea to use it on Landen as eye shadow and makeup.
I know it wasn't that much and it actually came off pretty easily. (poison control center says cooking oil is best option to get it off- can't hurt the skin or eyes like nail polish remover could- just in case this happens to someone else in the future!) I did get really upset- but then I just had to take a picture and laugh about it.
Another day, more silence. This time things could have been bad. The moment we heard the silence, Adam ran upstairs and found Joselyn's room locked. Then Joselyn started screaming there was blood, and Adam's panicked voice called for me. My heart about stopped. She let us into her room and we found Joselyn and Landen with Adam's razors. They had tried to shave their chins. Landen also tried to shave his armpit and Joselyn ended up with a cut on her finger. Thankfully the chins and armpit were mostly just razor burn and Joselyn's little cut on her finger was the worst of it and was fixed with a little band-aid. But we can't help thinking about how bad things could have gone with that.
So, we are more careful. We can live with messes, but we couldn't forgive ourselves if our children got hurt. It really is about adjusting. We've all had to get used to a different rhythm. Or, at least we are trying to get used to one. I know as Lyla gets older things will get a little easier. She won't be as demanding of my time and she will be more reactive to Joselyn and Landen wanting to play with her.
Although I feel a little disconnected from Joselyn and Landen, my admiration for them has increased so much. Here they are just little human beings and they really have adjusted so well to less attention. And they LOVE thier little sister! They are just so sweet to her. And it's obvious Lyla returns the love. I just hope they still know how much I DO love them. And appreciate them. I try to tell them and sneak in some cuddle time with them as much as possible, but I can't help but worry.
I attempt to use all my fun pinterest ideas to keep them occupied and out of trouble. The spider web was a hit!!
The chalk circles were also a hit! The point of this was to cross from one side to the other only stepping in one color of a circle. They loved it. Then we came up with our own game of just calling out random colors and they had to find a circle in the color and jump into it.
The other day I took them on a walk and ended up with all 3 kids crying and screaming. That was fun! And then sometimes the kids surprise me. They come up with fun things to do on their own that are SAFE and keep them happy! LIke a little breakfast picnic.
Or dessing up like mice...
And sometimes I only find evidence of fun times had together...
So my conclusion?? Three kids is harder then 2 at least for now... but I think we are all learning good things from this. We are all becoming better. And eventually, we WILL feel complete again. Or maybe more complete. Or maybe we really are more complete already and just haven't noticed yet. Yeah, that's probably it.
